Overcoming the Perfectionism Trap

I'm a competitive person. I don't even want to play if there is no chance I might win. It's absolutely a family trait. Monopoly is like asking WWIII to erupt in the family living room.

That way of thinking makes me especially hard on myself. I can genuinely praise others and build them up all day long, but personally, it's easy for me to pick myself apart.

It's why I struggled with self-esteem for so long. It's why, in my earlier years, my self consciousness often came out as a rude and sarcastic at the expense of someone else (I'm still super sarcastic but now it's not pointed at others).

When I first started really pursuing health, and surrounding myself with others who saw the best in people, I slowly began to change my thinking and give myself credit; starting speaking a little nicer to MYSELF.

But can I be real? I still REALLY struggle in this area. And makes me feel like a phony. Because I SO BELIEVE in loving yourself but it's hard for me. Just the other day in conversation I discounted myself and my hard work, honing in on ONE area I struggle to see change.

I forget the muscles in my arms and shoulders that I notice while blow drying my hair and not flexing.

I forget the strength in my legs.

I forget that I can do more push ups now than a month ago. That I'm in a size smaller pants. That my skin is clearer because I'm eating better more regularly. That my kids like working out with me because I'm showing them it's FUN!

I get consumed with that little pouch of mine I can't seem to change.

Well here's a message- to me- and to all my competitive, perfectionist friends out there-

SEE YOURSELF! See your WHOLE self. Not the bad.
But the good.
The strong.
The capable.
The witty.
The kind.
The persevering spirit.

And love it all. <3 

I'm BAAACCKKK!

Seriously! How is it already mid-September! These days are flying by.  If you weren't aware, the reason for my hiatus:

Our little guy arrived almost three weeks ago! So between that and our oldest starting preschool, we have just been trying to figure out life with three, three and under! Some days are easier than others but I know how blessed we are!

So what is up in September? Well for one, my Back to School Bodies group is KILLING it! These women are checking in daily, working hard and kicking butt! It is amazing to see the motivation, support, and encouragement going on between these ladies all connected by their goals and this group! It is pushing me too! (You better believe I have goals! Buh-bye baby weight!!)

If a group like that sounds like something you could use in your life, then you should definitely be in my Fall into Fitness group that kicks off October 6th.

Yes you are reading that right--just by joining and doing the work, you could win some fabulous prizes! I can't tell what they are {because that would ruin the fun} but just think read the sign close and see if you can figure it out! 

If you aren't sure where to start, I can help you.  Helping people find something that they can get on board with and find success with is something I love to do! I am passionate about helping people realize that a healthy lifestyle isn't boring or too much work; it is 100% WORTH it! 

So please shoot me an e-mail {bmbruce20@gmail.com} or find me on Facebook {facebook.com/bekahmbruce} and let's chat about your goals! We can reach them together!! 

I get it

When I started this blog, I had a few intentions. 
1) To share my experience as a pregnant person trying to stay as committed as possible to the healthy lifestyle I had adopted
2) To hold myself accountable (nothing like putting your goals out there for the world. i.e- 20 people that read this. THANK YOU!)
3) Connect to other mamas out there; currently pregnant or not.  Fit enthusiasts or not! 

Here was my fear.  That this blog would be perceived as judgmental or discouraging versus uplifting, encouraging, and a place to discuss how to give our babies the healthiest start possible. 

Here is the thing.  My first pregnancy I was 20 pounds heavier than I should have been.  I looked bad, slept bad, felt bad.  Then got pregnant.  And I used that pregnancy as an excuse to eat what I wanted, not exercise and honestly, just do whatever I damn well pleased.  I failed my glucose test the first time, passed by the skin of my teeth and had my doctor tell me that I needed to make wiser food choices for the remainder of my pregnancy.  Did I? No! I felt miserable the last trimester, had terrible heartburn, wanted to be induced because I was so big (as was the baby), failed to progress and had a c-section.  Total weight gain of that pregnancy- 40 pounds.  

Not much compared to some, right? But the thing is, none of the choices I was making, was helping me grow a healthy baby!  I had to come to terms with the fact that my birth plan was so far from what I envisioned in my mind.  I had to come to terms with a body that I didn't recognize as mine.  And two years later, after my second baby and pretty much the same patterns (I started out at a more reasonable weight), having to leave my newborn to have my gall bladder removed..probably a result of my terrible habits.  

I see it all the time. People who mock my ideals this pregnancy or make remarks not completely at me but ones that apply.  People who say, "well I am eating for two now." "You're supposed to gain weight during pregnancy." "I would never diet.  I want a healthy baby." And I feel judged. I feel like they are saying I don't want a healthy baby.  Don't you see?  We both do.  I have just been on the other side.  

At the risk of not being popular, I am having a healthier pregnancy now than I did my previous two.  Doctors recommend a weight gain range for a reason.  Pregnant women should gain weight, a REASONABLE amount, put on by healthy foods, but mostly by the way our bodies change.  That weight accounts for the fetus, placenta, extra blood, fluid, etc.  Not because we can eat the flavor of the day from Culver's every night of the week.

At the risk of continuing to not be popular, pregnancy isn't a sit on your butt card either.  Your body can grow a human and still be physical.  Women birthed children in caves, in fields, in their log cabins with midwives while tending their other children, doing housework (like legit work), and working the land..all up until labor began!!  Now, I am not saying to push yourself and put you or the baby in harm's way.  Listen to your doctor.  If there is a medical condition that dictates taking it easy, by all means, kick your feet up.  But that isn't all of us.  It certainly wasn't me.

So can I just say, I get it.  I embrace my expanding belly that makes it hard for me to button my pre-pregnancy pants.  I embrace the 1000x a day I am running to the bathroom.  I embrace the stretch marks from my previous pregnancies. I embrace the number on the scale going up.  I embrace that I get winded more easily, my runs are now walks, and that I just can't keep up quite like I used to with my boys.  I think we should embrace every beautiful aspect of pregnancy.  It is a joy, a blessing, and something I am so grateful for.  

But, this blessing, is a responsibility.  A responsibility to give our babies the best, healthiest start.  I embrace that too.  So know that I get it. Whether it's your first pregnancy or your fourth, we all want the same thing.  This is just my journey to have the healthiest baby I know how.