Overcoming the Perfectionism Trap

I'm a competitive person. I don't even want to play if there is no chance I might win. It's absolutely a family trait. Monopoly is like asking WWIII to erupt in the family living room.

That way of thinking makes me especially hard on myself. I can genuinely praise others and build them up all day long, but personally, it's easy for me to pick myself apart.

It's why I struggled with self-esteem for so long. It's why, in my earlier years, my self consciousness often came out as a rude and sarcastic at the expense of someone else (I'm still super sarcastic but now it's not pointed at others).

When I first started really pursuing health, and surrounding myself with others who saw the best in people, I slowly began to change my thinking and give myself credit; starting speaking a little nicer to MYSELF.

But can I be real? I still REALLY struggle in this area. And makes me feel like a phony. Because I SO BELIEVE in loving yourself but it's hard for me. Just the other day in conversation I discounted myself and my hard work, honing in on ONE area I struggle to see change.

I forget the muscles in my arms and shoulders that I notice while blow drying my hair and not flexing.

I forget the strength in my legs.

I forget that I can do more push ups now than a month ago. That I'm in a size smaller pants. That my skin is clearer because I'm eating better more regularly. That my kids like working out with me because I'm showing them it's FUN!

I get consumed with that little pouch of mine I can't seem to change.

Well here's a message- to me- and to all my competitive, perfectionist friends out there-

SEE YOURSELF! See your WHOLE self. Not the bad.
But the good.
The strong.
The capable.
The witty.
The kind.
The persevering spirit.

And love it all. <3 

Hello, sunshine!

March certainly came in like a lion around here.  Snow upon snow; enough for church to cancel.  A pre-school day cancelled due to ice! I am all for spending time at home with my kiddos but we were all more than ready for spring to arrive.

And, just like the weather of the Midwest is, spring arrived.

I am on my third week of Les Mills Pump.  I had been substituting the walk sessions with cardio workouts indoors since the weather was not cooperating.  Max:30 and Turbo Fire (more on that, later) kept my heart pumping.

But, this past Saturday and Sunday, this girl got to RUN!! I really learned to love running when I trained for a half marathon a couple of years ago.  That being said, I hadn't really ran in quite a few months. I had tried it once in early October after being released post-partum and feeling up to it.  I maybe got in a mile.  And it was a tough one.

When I set out Saturday, I was starting to doubt all the hard work I had done with Insanity Max:30. I was feeling pretty winded.  I concentrated on my breathing {I'm all about a breath in every two steps, breath out every two steps}.  My body loosened up and I found a pace.  Y'all--I did 2.65 miles in 25 minutes.  I was really excited! That pace wasn't too far off from my best paces when training. And Sunday was the same thing.

Those runs definitely left me sore. But I know that LMP, running and my no sugar commitment are going to get me the results I need!

How are you doing with your goals??

About Turbo Fire
This is a program I have wanted to try for awhile.  Every time I went to purchase it, there was always a new program I wanted to try first.  It just kept getting put on the back burner.  Last week, Beachbody launched something called Beachbody on Demand. It is a way to digitally stream some of Beachbody's most favorite programs to any device that is wifi enabled.  

I got to use Turbo Fire in my home straight on my laptop.  No waiting for shipping. I also have access to the complete nutrition guide and workout schedule.  Another perk--Beachbody on Demand gives you access to 10 {!!!!} complete programs! 

If you want to know more about On Demand, I would love to share more about it with you. 

What I learned in 3 days

When I posted my Max:30 results, I mentioned that I tagged on the 3-Day Refresh to the final days of the program. 

What is the refresh? 
It is a program designed to give you a break from poor eating habits while kick starting some healthy ones.  With Shakeology, two high protein refresh shakes, a fiber sweep, snacks and delicious vegetable dinner options, your body and mind have a chance to clear themselves from some vices. 

I chose to do this for a couple of reason.  One, I knew that doing this could help me shed a few pounds.  But more than that, I was not seeing the same results month 2 of Max:30 as I did month 1 and I KNEW the culprit--my nutrition.  We had my son's birthday, a weekend out of town, my son's party/mom's birthday and Valentine's Day all in month 2.  I ate great during the week, but those weekends were definitely more off track than I wanted.  And when you really think about it, weekends are a large chunk of a month. It accounts for almost 30% of February! So if you give yourself "a break" on weekends to eat whatever, you really aren't going to progress forward.  And I sure gave myself one to many breaks during some of those events. 

What I didn't realize before the refresh, were some ugly, bad habits creeping back into my lifestyle. 

On the refresh, there is no eating except what is outlined.  There is also no dairy, meat or starches. (Of course, the allowed fruit and vegetables on the program are carbs and the high protein shakes help satiate hunger).

Because of that, I caught myself--quite often, actually--in the midst of popping something into my mouth.  You know what I am talking about moms: a nibble of your kids snack as you prepare it, or their lunch.  Or maybe you finish off their lunch as you are scrambling to clean the mess up and get them ready for naps.  A snack out of boredom, or a sip of this or that.  

That mindless eating was catching up to me.  It was stalling my results just as much as an occasional treat would if not MORE! 

I had also really, REALLY become a slave to sugar again. You saw the list above.  Those are some sweet confection opportunities all bundled up together.  Because of that, I was craving sugar--ALL the time! And caving.

Doing the refresh, I had to have discipline.  I said I was going to follow the program.  That meant when I was making my kids mini pizzas one day for lunch, I couldn't just pop a pepperoni.  It meant not nibbling an M&M from the treat container.  It meant not snacking when watching HTGAWM (sidenote: PLEASE tell me you are obsessed with this show too??) 

What happened mentally was amazing.  I was breaking through some habits and barriers that I know can have a pretty strong grip on me.  My body started craving GOOD things.  I was texting my accountability partner through the refresh about eggs.  I wanted chicken and eggs.  She wanted a Greek yogurt.  Talk about a difference, right?? 

Did I get results? For sure, an inch of my waist and 4 pounds gone!!! But more than that, I gained control over my eating again.  I saw the roadblocks I had allowed to creep back into my life and consciously overcame them and now am so much more aware of them.  I reset my system, ridding it of the need for sugar.  IN JUST 3 DAYS!! How huge is that! 

This program is amazing and I am so grateful for what it taught me! 

Aha moments and results

This  may turn into a long post so consider yourself warned.  

On December 29th, I began Shaun T.'s new program, Insanity Max:30.  If you know me at all, I am not a fan of an all cardio workout.  This program was that exactly but to the umpteenth degree.  

I enlisted the support of some fellow coaches on my team and we began the program together.  I knew I needed accountability.  I was not planning on doing this program {probably ever} but I had gotten really complacent.  I wasn't following a program consistently, I was allowing to many cheats, and the holidays did not help my trim my post pregnancy body. 

In truth, I needed a swift, firm kick in the butt!

The premise of the program is to push yourself and max out every workout.  And each workout thereafter, to push yourself a little farther, increase that max out time. I was really amazed at how quickly my body began responding to the workouts.  My max time was steadily increasing. I could feel my body getting stronger.  I was finding a rhythm again.  

This program taught me so much. Before every workout, during the opening credits, Shaun T. gives a little pep talk.  During those minutes before I began, I had to really get my mind right.  The first month I was juggling my three kiddos, a nursing newborn, and a traveling husband.  To say there were days I didn't want to do it, days I didn't want to push to my max out- would be an understatement. 

Our mental statement is such an indicator of our success.  Not only in fitness but in EVERYTHING.  Negative self talk is destructive.  If I told myself, I could take a break.  If I told myself I could eat this cheat. If I told  myself that my actions weren't paying off; if I focused on the parts of my body I {thought} weren't changing, I would have given up.  If I didn't have the SUPPORT from my fellow coaches, I would have given up. 

Here is what this program helped me accomplish in just 30 days. 

That lesson of mental strength was an important one.  The program is 60 days. (56 to be exact, less than that if you opt out of the optional Saturday workout.) The second month, all workouts are taken up a notch (or two). I had to have the mental strength to push myself.  

Month two had a whole new set of obstacles.  Two birthdays, my son's birthday party, Valentine's Day. I didn't miss a workout but my nutrition began to slip. I wanted the best results possible and I also wanted to break some habits I started to see creeping up.

To end Max:30 I paired it with the 3-Day Refresh.  Tomorrow I will share those results as well as what I learned during those three days.  

I definitely achieved progress with Max:30.  I saw results.  I pushed myself harder than I ever have in a workout.  I saw myself gain strength and muscle.  I increased endurance and stamina.  My legs and arms have tone like they maybe never have.  All without a weight.  

Here are my results from Day 1---> Day 30 ---> Day 60

This program changed my mindset.  It changed my body. It changed my view of myself and what I was capable of.  I know that anyone can find success with this program.  It isn't easy.  But it is MORE THAN worth it!

Quick Update

Hey all!

I have neglected this space terribly.  To be honest, I have had ZERO time for blogging at either space.  My husband has been traveling 4-5 days a week for the past 2.5 months {thankfully he was home for the holidays}.  His absence has just added to my work load at home and my boys are needing lots of my attention.  And, family comes first!

BUT-- I just have to share with you about a new program that I am in love with!

Let me just preface--I am not a cardio girl.  I don't enjoy cardio activities or movements.  I was not going to purchase this program.  I actually wasn't entertaining the idea of ever doing it. But then, a good friend and fellow coach, who was part of the test group, shared her results.  And I was blown away! 

So I got it.  I recruited some coaches on my team to do it with me.  I knew I needed accountability and support. 

Last Saturday was the end of our second week.  I felt like my body was changing.  I was curious.  Was it all in my head or were there actual changes?  I stepped on the scale, took some photos and measurements and compared.

My JAW HIT THE FLOOR! I couldn't believe how my  body had changed in two weeks!

I still have lots of work to do but I am so proud of how far I have come.  Back into jeans that I was only squeezing into around Christmas time, inches gone, more energy.  Me against me every day.  

If you have any questions about this program, I would love to answer them for you! If you are interested and need support, my online accountability group is kicking off February 2nd.

Happy Wednesday, friends!  

Results

How is it already the end of October? This month has flown by! This YEAR has flown by!

We have been crazy, busy around our house.  At the beginning of the month, we began to pack up our house in preparation for our move (2 more days!!). Add to that the responsibilities of two toddlers (one in preschool) and a newborn, I had my hands full.  Not to mention, I was busy running a challenge group with people all dedicated to reaching their health goals {ME included}! 

I took my before pictures and measurements exactly 30 days ago and committed to the 21 Day Fix.  I know this program can bring results but had not completed yet not pregnant.  {I did two rounds during my pregnancy.}

One reason I love being a coach with Beachbody is the accountability I have as a coach.  My team is great at keeping me motivated. Their energy and love for a healthy lifestyle makes me want to get up and get the work done even on days when I really don't feel like it or the time seems to be slipping away.  My clients in my groups push me too! They could all come up with 100 excuses but they don't.  I don't want to let them down so I press on!

Today when I got on the scale and did my pictures and measurements I was shocked! It is often hard to see the changes in our body day to day.  We doubt if we are making progress.  I also wasn't perfect this past month.  I missed three workouts and didn't eat as clean as I wanted to! I followed the plan pretty well but there were a few dinners {pizza} that I had an extra slice.  

Down 6 pounds

-6.5 inches gone (2.5 from my waist alone)

I am really happy with my results! I still have a long way to go but these photos prove that good choices, consistently, will pay off over time.  It isn't about fad diets, pills, or long workout sessions.  I love that I got to eat.  I consumed between 1500-1800 calories a day {higher than my bracket but I am breastfeeding}.  I only worked out for 30 minutes.  

I still have a ways to go to get my pre-baby body back but I have never been this fit so soon after a pregnancy before.  

ANYONE can do this!! I am proof of that! If you would like to get started or have any questions, I would love to hear from you! 

I've been there

 Sometimes it is easy for people that haven't known you long to assume things. I have had people tell me that they don't think I know their struggle because I am thin.  Or was thin before I got pregnant with Gabe.  

The fact of the matter is, my struggle with weight started long before that.  If you have watched my YouTube video you know how I packed on weight my first year of marriage.  

March 2010

April 2010

 Just before our first anniversary we learned we were pregnant.  It was an exciting time.  But that extra weight was combined with even more pounds packed on with pregnancy.  I didn't exercise.  I ate what I wanted.  I had reflux, heartburn, and back pain a lot throughout pregnancy.  

37 weeks; my heaviest weight

After Hudson I vowed to get lose the weight.  I hated my body.  It tormented me because nothing fit.  But notice, I vowed to lose the weight.  It wasn't about health, not yet.  I just wanted to look better.

The weight came off but my body still wasn't where I wanted it to be.  By the time Hudson was 14 months, I was still in a pant size that was bigger than typical and we were pregnant again.  

It was after Beau (our second) that I knew something had to change.  My body didn't like the crap I was putting into it.  I was unhappy and felt unattractive to my husband.  I also knew that I wasn't teaching my kids good habits if I wasn't being an example.  I worked really hard to change my body, my eating habits, and my overall health.  I connected with Beachbody products and FINALLY got results that I could be proud of! 

Before Beachbody. 6 months post partum with Beau

Feb 2014 size 2 

8 months using Beachbody products

Yet here I am again.  I am blessed with another baby and trying to get my body back.  This time I have the tools I need to get back to feeling good.  I had the best pregnancy because I chose to workout and eat right.  I recovered much quicker from my c-section this time.  

4 weeks post partum with third baby

Here is what I am telling you.  I have been there.  I have been at the point where I didn't think I could ever get the body I wanted.  Where I could ever just feel good about myself.  But I did.  And I will again.  And you can too!

Know that I understand the struggle. I have learned how to use exercise and clean eating to achieve results.  I want to share that with you.  The question is, will you let me?

Progress

I loved waking up to it being Wednesday.  I love that the week is already half over and we are nearing the weekend.  I mean, not mathematically, no.  We need to get through Wednesday but whatever.  

Heather/Ash/Erin

Today was day 10 of the 21 Day Fix.  I love this program.  LOVE IT! I do my weigh-ins on Friday with my online fitness group {who are rocking it by the way}.  Today was Lower Fix; thirty minutes of concentrated leg work.  Talk about working up a sweat! This workout challenges me.  Last week, I had to pause the workout to calm my newborn back into his slumber. {We were having all kinds of nap issues that we seem to have surpassed. PTL!} This week, I not only didn't pause it, I used heavier weights for many of the exercises! #nonscalevictory

I have really been working on sticking to the nutrition guide.  It is honestly a guide I should follow all the time.  It is so simple and easy and advocates for clean eating.  As a nursing mom I did worry that my milk supply might be compromised but it honestly hasn't.  I am eating enough and drinking lots of water and still getting enough milk for my 7 week old.  I love that! 

Last week I lost three pounds.  My husband, who is working out on his own but using the Fix nutrition, lost almost 4 pounds last week.  

I am hoping to have another good loss this Friday.  More than that I want to loss inches.  I feel like my body is back to normal {well, close to it} except for the dreaded mom pooch area and thighs.  I know the pooch is just a result of my third cesarean and that area takes time.  But I'd really like to see some inches leave those areas ASAP! 

How is your week going?